When Faith Hurts: Abby’s Journey Through Religious Abuse and Reclaiming Her Voice

Religion is often seen as a sanctuary—a place of comfort, guidance, and strength. But what happens when those same beliefs are twisted into tools of control? In our latest Ex-Wives Undercover podcast episode, we sit down with Anna, a courageous woman who opens up about her experience with religious abuse inside her marriage.

Her story is one of love, confusion, emotional suppression, and ultimately, liberation. This blog post highlights the most powerful themes from her episode and sheds light on an often-overlooked form of abuse that hides behind faith.

What is Religious Abuse?

Religious abuse involves using spiritual beliefs, texts, or structures to control, manipulate, or harm another person. In intimate relationships, this can look like:

• Forcing submission under the guise of spiritual duty

• Silencing dissent with guilt or fear of divine punishment

• Using religious roles to justify emotional neglect or control

• Discouraging outside support or therapy because "God will fix it"

Abby lived through all of this—and more.

Abby’s Story: The Weight of Spiritual Expectations

Abby entered her marriage full of love and faith. Her partner shared her religious background, and their relationship was quickly validated by their spiritual community. But what seemed like a shared foundation soon became a rigid cage.

She describes how scripture was used to justify his control, how her emotions were labeled as sinful, and how every disagreement turned into a lesson in submission. Over time, she began to question not only her marriage—but her own sanity.

“I thought I was being a bad wife because I was unhappy. I didn’t realize I was being spiritually manipulated.”

The Silent Impact: Emotional and Mental Health Toll

One of the most devastating effects of religious abuse is how silent it can be. There are no bruises, no obvious signs to the outside world. But the emotional toll is immense. Abby shares how her self-worth eroded over time, how the guilt consumed her, and how mental health struggles began to surface—especially when paired with parenting stress and financial strain.

Breaking the Cycle: Reclaiming Her Voice

It wasn’t one big moment, but a series of quiet realizations that led Abby to finally walk away. Therapy, journaling, and the support of friends helped her see the patterns of control. She began to separate her faith from the toxic framework that had been built around it.

Her message to others? You can believe in something bigger and still walk away from people who weaponize it.

Key Takeaways from Abby’s Episode

• Religious abuse is real and often invisible

• Faith should never come at the cost of your mental health

• Guilt and submission are not love

• You are not alone—there is healing on the other side

• Personal growth often begins with hard truths

Anna’s story is one of thousands, but by sharing it, she’s breaking the silence around religious abuse. If you’ve ever questioned whether faith was being used against you, we encourage you to listen to her episode—and remember that your voice, your heart, and your healing matter.

🎧 Listen Now: "Holier Than Thou – Anna’s Story of Love, Control & Religious Abuse"
Available on all podcast platforms.